Shady Pets Angry Pet Pack

Kieran

Angry Pet ID: 7005
My hang out: Dawson City, AK

Featured: Angry Pet Pack - Expansion Pack

My mug shots …

Here’s my story …

My name means “little dark one” and by “dark” they mean definition 6 “evil or wicked”. I’m an Alaskan Malamute, born to pull sleds in the coldest conditions imaginable or even unimaginable to most humans. If you’ve read one of the Jack London books “Call of the Wild” or “White Fang” than you know about the Alaskan winters and the ferocious competition to be the lead dog of a sled. Yes, I might still be puppy but my evil powers and my cunning are going to land me the job when the snow comes this year.

There are two other puppies in my camp that are up for consideration to join the sled team. None of them have aspirations to lead, just join. And that is their first flaw. Never desire to follow. You see if I can’t lead, I’m not playing. No Way!

There’s Hogan, a Husky. He has a squeaky ball toy that makes the most irritating noise every time he bites it. Hate it!

And then there’s Joe Joe, a Euro-mutt (half German Shepard and half everything else), who gets up on his hind legs and begs for food from the humans. It’s just so childish and demeaning to all dogs. Hate that!

My first plan was to get rid of that squeaky ball. When Hogan couldn’t find it, he go searching far and wide and would get lost then no more Hogan.

It was a pleasant summer night (which was still very day because the sun never sets here in the summer) and Hogan was asleep. I snuck up behind him and rolled the ball away from his body being careful not to touch it too hard or bite it. I rolled it at least a mile away, then gently picked it up. It squeaked softly. I waiting for Hogan to come running. But nothing. I was far enough away. Whew! Then I traveled several more miles to the edge of a ravine; at the bottom of the ravine was the roaring rapids of a river. I tossed that horrible ball into the ravine and watched it bounce (squeak) and bounce all the way into the river. Oh, the joy!

When I returned to the camp, Hogan was gone. No doubt he had left to go searching for his ball. And you know he’ll never find that ball and hence, never return. Part one of plan … complete.

Next up, Joe Joe. My plan for him would be even more devious. You see the circus was in town that week. I made my way into the clown tent and stole some of the clown clothes. I brought them back and dropped them at Joe Joe’s feet, “Hey Joe Joe, if you dress up in these clothes and do your little dance for the humans they will most certainly give you steak and lobster and lots of hot fat (his favorite).” Joe Joe considered the proposition and took the bait. He got dressed in the clown clothes and started to look for the humans.

“Not here, Joe Joe! You have to go into town and dance at the circus. That’s where the humans are today and that’s where they keep the hot fat”.

So they walked down to the circus. When the clowns saw Joe Joe had their missing clothes, they chased and caught him then put him in a cage. “Bad dog” they shouted at Joe Joe.

I was the most devious of geniuses the dog world has even known. I was going to be lead dog!

As I got back to camp, Hogan was laying there was his ball. “Squeak! Squeak!”

“Hey Kieran, You wouldn’t believe where I found my ball. At the edge of the river. It was caught by a log in the river and as the water hit it, it Squeaked. I heard it from miles away. A miracle, don’t you think?”

Just then, Joe Joe came prancing into the camp with a huge steak bone in his mouth.

“They loved me, Kieran! As soon as they saw me dressed up as a clown in a cage. I started to dance. They thought I as so funny. They offered me a job and all the food in the world. I turned it down but I still got this huge steak bone. You see, I’d rather join the sled team than be in a circus!”

Kieran’s plan had failed.

He was angry! So very, very angry!