​Here’s my story …
 

So me and my (human) pal Eddie figured out this great way to make a little extra cash. At least we thought it was great—others disagreed. I’ll let you decide.

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You know those tours of celebrity homes in Hollywood and Beverly Hills? You know how they seem like perfectly legitimate ways to make a living and not at all like scams or borderline stalking offenses?

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Well, we’re from Bangor in Maine, which happens to be the home of the horror author Stephen King. He lives here in a colorful old mansion that has a wrought-iron gate adorned with bats and spiders and a three-headed reptile—so he’s basically asking to be stalked the unwitting subject of round-the-clock tourist activities, right? Right?

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Anyway, this was our plan: Eddie drives some tourists around a few sightseeing spots in Bangor—downtown; the waterfront; the Paul Bunyan statue; etc. Then, for a grand finale, he pulls up outside Stephen King’s place.

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He gives them a quick spiel about the house, thanks them for taking the tour and makes to take them back downtown—but oh no. The car won’t start. The alternator seems to be dead.

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Actually, hold the phone. There’s something I should have mentioned already: In case you didn’t know, Stephen King wrote a novel called Cujo, where a dog gets rabies, then a mother and son get trapped inside a car with a dead alternator, and then the dog shows up and tries to kill them. Now, back to my anecdote.

…actually, I feel like you can all probably guess what’s coming now.

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Dang.

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Well, so-ree, but it’s not like I’m some kind of expert at telling stories. I mean, who do you think I am? Stephen King?

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Anyway, before we could get to the part where I smash through a passenger window, one of the local residents had tattled and my owner was on the scene. My Kryolan foam capsules were confiscated, Eddie was trying to console the Norwegian family’s screaming toddler, and our get-rich-quick scheme was over.

But this is not the last you’ve heard of me. Cujo may have—spoiler alert—died, but mark my words, the 100% Unofficial Family Surprise Cujo Tour © will never! NEVER!

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Story by ShadyPets.com (c) 2021. All Rights Reserved.