Here’s my story ...
 

1. Barking and howling

2. Climbing on furniture

3. Taking over the bed while someone’s trying to sleep

4. Jumping on guests when they enter the house

5. Excessive licking

6. Chasing literally anything

7. Following people into the bathroom

8. Pooping inside

9. Rolling in poop

10. Eating poop

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Okay. Haha. Very funny.

 

I give you my letter to Santa and you give me this in return. Well, I guess you deserve points for style.

But hold on, because I’ve got rebuttals for all this.

 

So, number one: Barking and howling. You said you don’t understand why I bark and howl for no reason. Well, when you talk, is it always for a specific reason? Hmm? When you text or tweet, is that always out of practical necessity? Is it? I rest my case.

 

Numbers three, five, and seven: Listen, you brought all that on yourself. You kiss me on the lips and call me your fur baby, what do you expect?

 

Number four: It’s called being friendly. Duh.

 

Numbers two and six are actually fair. I’m just gonna be real on those ones.

 

And numbers eight, nine and ten… come on, we all know why dogs do this stuff. Separation anxiety, lack of proper training, malnutrition, blah blah blah. You know the drill. Basically, it’s really your fault, not mine.

 

So, I’m still gonna get gifts this year, right? Right?

 

How about if I promise to work on—

 

What’s that? I already said I’d work on this stuff last year? Um… yeah, but you see the thing is… well…

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Ugh. Okay. You win.

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Story by ShadyPets.com (c) 2021. All Rights Reserved.