Bowie (4006) – Shady Pets

Bowie

Shady Reptile Pet ID: 4006
My hang out: David City, NE (USA)

My mug shots …

Here’s my story …

There was once a shy, troubled boy, a teen of just 16 years old. One year, his parents decided to give him a baby snake as a birthday present.

They were told it was a dwarf boa constrictor and would not get any bigger than 3.5 feet. But as fate would have it, this was not the case. The baby snake was actually a Burmese python. Of course, they both look the same as babies!

The boy decided to name the snake Bowie, after his favorite rock idol, and fed it crickets and other small insects.

Taking care of the snake was a good distraction from school, where the boy was being bullied by 3 high school seniors who would give him ‘melvins’ whenever they saw him.

Bowie outgrew his aquarium in a few months, so the boy replaced it with a with ‘king-size’ aquarium, which was 5 feet long. Bowie’s appetite grew ever faster, as his food of choice turned from crickets to mice and from mice to big-ass, adult rats.

After another month, even the giant aquarium was too small, so the boy just let Bowie hang out in his room.

“Feed me!”, Bowie spoke. (OK, the boy was probably on some hallucinogenic or something when this happened, so the fact that the snake spoke was not at all shocking to him.)

“What do you want?”

“A human!”

“What? You do realize that I’m a human?”

“Not you!”

“Then who?”

“You know who…”

The boy made one of those devious smirks, like the Joker in the Batman series.

The next day, the boy put Bowie in a large yellow wheelie suitcase, then drove him to school in his parent’s car.

At the school, the bullies spotted him and approached, eager to perform their famous juvenile melvin maneuver.

“Wait. I have a present for you. A peace offering. It’s inside this suitcase.”

“What’s in there?”

“My most prized procession. But you have to take it inside to look at it.”

Reluctantly, the bullies agreed, and the boy led them into an empty classroom.

“OK, open it!”

As the boy unlatched the suitcase, the starving python bolted out. It tried to wrap its massive muscular tail around one of the bullies, but missed, and the bullies escaped the room.

The boy was left alone with Bowie. He knew the police would soon be after him and would take away his reptilian buddy.

He put the snake back in the yellow suitcase and drove out of town. For the whole ride, he could hear Bowie crying from inside the suitcase:

“Feed me! I’m so hungry! I need to eat.”

After a few hours, the boy stopped the car on a remote highway and tossed the suitcase to the side of the road. Then he drove back home.

After that day, the bullies never bothered him again.

And to this day, there’s a yellow suitcase on the side of road somewhere out there.

Don’t open it… it might be Bowie!

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