Shady Dog Pet ID: 7003
My hang out: Cape Coral, FL

My mug shots …

Here’s my story …

Hey, can I smell this? No? Okay, no problem.

Oooh, can I smell this thing? Pretty please? No? Again? Well alright.

Oh, oh, oh my god! Listen, I have a really important question for you. Just hear me out. By any chance, if you could spare a moment from what I’m sure is a very busy day for you, could I possibly smell—really, no again? You know, I’m starting to get the feeling that I’m not gonna be allowed to smell anything on this walk…

Listen, I know I don’t look too smart. If I were ever cast in a movie, I’d be the kind of dog that works as a henchman for a scary British bulldog, but somehow gets tricked by the hero and ends up falling into a swimming pool. I’m fully aware of this, I assure you.

However, I did a little research online about why dogs like to smell things all the time and, if possible, I’d like to be taken seriously for just a moment so I can tell you about it.

We dogs have one-eighth of our brains dedicated to interpreting odor, which is more than you humans have dedicated to interpreting sight. Olfaction is crucial to how we understand the world.

Here’s how strong our sense of smell is: When you smell a fart, I smell all the individual foods that went into that fart. Let’s call it a mixed blessing.

So then why do we want to disrupt a pleasant stroll around the block by smelling, of all things, the pee of other dogs? Well, for one very good reason: It gives us information about them. It can tell us a dog’s gender and age, as well as their health and reproductive status.

Want proof? Here’s the skinny on a few of the dogs in our neighborhood:

Peanut and SpongeBob are pregnant. (Keep it quiet, they haven’t announced yet.)

Remember when Jerry and Liz didn’t come to the barbeque last month because their dog was sick? Yeah, well, that was a lie.

Not in dog years, human years or any other kind of years is the Johnsons’ poodle a ten-year-old.

So, when we go for a walk tomorrow, how about we take a shorter route and you give me a little time to enjoy my glorious nose?

What the—hey! Stop yanking that leash! It hurts. Weren’t you listening to what I was saying? Oh, I’m totally gonna send you links to those websites I was talking about…

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