Shady Cat Pet ID: 8307
My hang out: Red Deer, AB (CANADA)

My mug shots …

Here’s my story …

This is the story of how I became the Santa for snakes. The Snake Santa. That’s right: the Snata.

Viewers of popular Hollywood movies will be aware of how someone becomes the human Santa: The previous Santa either retires or kicks the bucket and some good, respectable fellow is eventually overcome by Christmas spirit and decides to take his place.

None of this was true of my ascendency.

First of all, the snake who was Snata before me had absolutely no intention of retiring. I mean, he really took some convincing.

‘Come on’, I pestered, ‘do you know how much they’re offering if you take voluntary redundancy?’

‘Who’s ‘they’?’ he asked.

‘Um… oh, come on, just let me be Snata. Please. Please please please please pleeeeease.’

‘Well… why you? What is it that you bring to the table, Snata-wise?’

I had to think about this.

‘I like climbing trees’, I finally said, ‘so I could climb into people’s Christmas trees when I deliver their presents on Christmas Eve.’

‘Firstly, I’m not sure that’s a positive thing. In fact, I’m pretty sure that you’d end up terrifying numerous small children. Secondly, I’m the Santa for snakes, not for humans. You’d be delivering presents to other snakes.’

‘Oh’, I said, despondently. ‘This job interview isn’t going too well, is it?’

‘I wouldn’t really call it a job interview. I’ve actually been trying to get away from you since you first started speaking.’

Oooh’, I said, even more despondently.

At this point, the ex-Snata took pity on me.

‘Okay, look. Maybe I could be persuaded to retire. But tell me, why do you want to be the Snata so bad?’

I had to think about this one too.

‘To be honest, I’m just not sure what to do at the moment. Maybe it’s depression, or ennui, or a quarter-life crisis. But I need direction, you know? I think taking over as Snata could be the answer.’

The ex-Snata looked me in the eye.

‘You know this is a serious job, right?’

‘I do.’

‘A lot of snakes will be depending on you.’


Then he took off his little hat and put it onto my head, and I’ve been happy ever since.

Story by (c) 2021. All Rights Reserved.

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