Shady Hamster Pet ID: 3004
My hang out: Helena, MT (USA)

My mug shots …

Here’s my story …

That’s me: Swinger, supermodel of the hamster world.

In this shot, I’m a darling hamster fluff ball on a tiny swing. Yah yah. My owner has probably made millions on this one because I’m so cute and cuddly—or so they tell me. Not that they need to tell me. I’ve seen myself in the mirror.

I have to confess, however, that the whole cute and cuddly angle is just for show. Sure, I can fake a pleasant disposition for a few seconds, but once the camera work is done, I’m a straight-up primadonna. I don’t mind admitting it. In fact, here’s a list of my general demands:

  • Organic food only.
  • Sunflower seeds must be imported from Spain or Portugal.
  • A dried apricot morsel once every 3 days.
  • Wooden shavings (dyed pink, always) to be changed once a day.
  • Fresh cardboard once a week.
  • Semi-regular tube cleaning.
  • Coconut water. Lots and lots of coconut water.

Just the other day, my owner tried to give me German-made sunflower seeds. It wasn’t pretty. I mean, what even are German sunflower seeds? I promptly spit them out of the surgically honed perfection of my mouth and back into the dirt where they belong.

As a result, my owner tried to reach into my cage to grab me, so I bit her finger. That night, I pushed all the pink shavings out of my cage and onto the shag carpet below.

Do you know long it takes to get those shavings out of shag carpeting?

I do. That’s why I did it.

The next morning, my owner approached with her camera and a toy fire truck. Oh god no, I thought. I’m not getting on that thing and wearing a tiny fire hat. But this time, alas, she was too quick. She reached in and grabbed me. Next thing I knew, I was on the truck.

So you know what I did next?

I pooped on the truck.

My owner just laughed, which infuriated me. It wasn’t a joke. It was an act of protest.

Then she reached into her pocket and revealed a brand-new bag of Portuguese sunflower seeds. My favorites! She opened the bag, laid a few by my feet and I ate them right up.

Wait, was I angry about something a minute ago?


Story by ShadyPets.com  (c) 2020.  All rights reserved.

Shady Pet Awards/Notes:

  • On Shady Pets (Series 1) Blue #4 Shady Hamster Card.
  • Pets Gone Shady (Series 2) Blue #4 Shady Hamster Card.

PDF – Swinger Series 2 Card (Print & Play): N/A