My mug shots …
Here’s my story ...
Fort Meyers, FL – a famous town, once the home of Thomas Edison, and now fairly notorious for being a favorite Spring Break location of college students.
One year a group of freshman college boys—Jay, Danny and Karl—decided they would wreak havoc on this small town. After hours of drinking at the beach, they stumbled back toward their hotel, but couldn’t find it. Their drunken stupor carried them into a marshy area that was full of alligators.
Jay marveled at how the gators were just like them – all searching for food and ladies!
“How you can tell the difference between guy and gal gators?” asked Danny.
“Well, there’s a small slit located between the rear legs. If it’s dark red it’s a male. Female slits are pinker and smaller. If you stick your finger into the slit you can feel the gator’s organ and even pull it out.”
“No way dude.”
“Hey, I dare you to see if that one is a boy or a girl.”
“Oh heeeeell no.”
“If you do it, I’ll buy your beer for the rest of the trip.”
Jay looked Karl in the eye, then flicked his wraparound shades off the top of his head and onto his nose.
“That’s such a lame move.”
“Jealous,” said Jay, and waded into the shallows. He approached the gator, who stood motionless.
“Hey,” said Danny, turning to Karl. “Does that gator have a 7-Eleven nametag stuck on its head?”
“Oh snap! Yeah man. It says ‘Wally’. I guess that’s its name.”
“Either that or it ate a guy named Wally,” Danny replied, nervously.
“This gator can’t even see me,” yelled Jay. “Gonna be easy peasy!”
Just then, the gator submerged.
“Must be a girl,” Karl shouted. “That’s what they all do when you get near!”
In a flash, the gator’s teeth latched onto Jay’s ankle and took him under the water.
“Oh sh—where did he go?!”
After a few minutes of indecision, Danny and Karl ran into the water.
Nothing. They called the police. A search ensued.
Still nothing.
A decade has passed now and Jay still hasn’t been found.
The Fort Meyers locals say that if you walk near the marsh and wait quietly, a large gator will surface… and that gator will be rocking a pair of wraparound shades.
‘Yerp’, they’ll say. “That’s the one what ate that dopey college kid.”
That’s Wally!
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Story by ShadyPets.com (c) 2020. All rights reserved.
Shady Pet Awards/Notes:
- Pets Gone Shady (Series 2) Yellow #2 Shady Reptile Card.
